Shownotes

Episode Summary

The key question for Ep 2

Some of us spend years working towards success to achieve lofty goals. We push ourselves, stay focussed, make multiple sacrifices - but at the pinnacle of success, we don’t feel happy and fulfilled.

Why does this happen? - This is the focus of Episode 2.

Achievement Mindset

Goal-oriented mindset. Where we set a goal and work towards achieving it. Life Goals could be 6/7 figure salary, house in a cool neighborhood, etc
The game of life becomes working hard, staying focussed, pushing ourselves to achieve these goals. Once done - we set new goals and go about the same process.
This mindset works because of the following -
- - Tangible - we know when we’ve hit our goals
  - External milestone - everyone can see our achievements
  - Positive reinforcement - via praise, admiration motivates us to set new goals and keep going along this mindset of life.

Fulfillment Mindset

The game of life is to fulfill our values
Values are things intrinsic and important to us. They are holistic. eg connection, security, freedom, loyalty, intimacy
This mindset is a little more difficult because

Why are we unhappy despite multiple accomplishments?

The single-minded focus on achievements represses some of our core values for years/decades
This causes emptiness and dissatisfaction.
As these are not tangible - we are unaware of this unhappiness because on the surface our life seems perfect

How should we re-design our life in such situations?

Value Scan to see what values are being honored and what are being repressed
Two simple starting points for this

Wheel of life (click to view)
Value Exercise - described below

Practical considerations

Stage of life
Responsibilities

The above creates an actionable vision for our life
Work over the next few months/years towards our vision

How should we look at these two mindsets?

Achievement Mindset - Useful when we want to move from point A to B. Can help us focus and move with tremendous velocity
Fulfillment Mindsets - Useful when we want to live a holistic balanced life.
Key Takeaway - While both mindsets are useful, the key is to consciously choose what mindset to adopt, based on our individual life situations. Often we get pushed around in life as we make no conscious choice, which results in unhappiness.

Useful Tools

Wheel of life

Wheel of Life (click to display)

Value Exercise

This will take 15-20 mins.

Close your eyes and sit back.

Think back to a time when you are happy and fulfilled. A moment that was rewarding and poignant.

What was happening?
Who was present and what was going on?
Paint a vivid picture in your mind and spend a few minutes experiencing this
Write down your experience
Go back to what you wrote and check what values were being honored
This is a starting point to understanding your values.

For a more thorough understanding of your values, consider seeking the support of a Life Coach.

Next Episode

Dramatization & Exaggerations of negative events

Achievement vs Fulfillment