#101 Bouncing back after layoff, with Sharad Lal

Intro
Hi everyone! Welcome to How to Live, a podcast that explores ways to live a good life. I’m your host, Sharad Lal. This is Episode 101.

Today, let’s talk about something many of us in our 40s are going through: layoffs and restructuring.

This is happening across industries — tech, finance, consulting, consumer goods. 

Its affecting everyone but I feel it’s particularly harsh on people in their 40s and beyond.

That’s the stage when our families depend on us. kids’ education, parents’ care, and mortgages It’s not just about us anymore.

To make matters worse - science shows our brains and bodies can’t bounce back the way they did in our 20s. Then we could just brush this off but its harder now. 

So doubts creep in. Confidence dips. And if we’re not careful, things can spiral quickly.

In this episode, I want to focus on this exact situation: What do we do after a layoff? How do we give ourselves the best chance to recover and rebuild when the ground feels shaky?

We’ll look at why it feels so complicated, the traps we fall into, and then a practical tool — the Headspace–Clarity Matrix — to help us move forward.

But before we dive in, a quick thank you. Thanks to your support, How to Live is now in the top 3% of podcasts globally, with listeners in more than 150 countries. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Now, let’s get back to the episode.

Two common reactions after layoffs

When people lose jobs, I often see two reactions.

The first I call the Busy Bee.
 We don’t want to sit with the pain, so we throw ourselves into endless activity — networking, firing off resumes, posting constantly on LinkedIn. It feels like progress, but often it’s just frantic energy.

I’m reminded of a story an entrepreneur shared on this podcast. He said:
 “When I went bankrupt, I begged a friend — who had built a unicorn — for a meeting. He gave me 30 minutes. But the moment we sat down, I could tell he didn’t want to be there.

Six months later, after I’d worked on myself, I went back with clarity and energy. This time, he introduced me to people and offered support.

What I learned was simple: if you go to people with negative, desperate energy, you pull them down. But if you show up with direction and passion, they go out of their way to help.”

That’s the Busy Bee trap. Lots of action, but from the wrong energy. And you don’t want to show up for big interviews or meetings with this energy.

The second trap is the opposite: the Frozen State.
Here, the pressure feels so overwhelming that we can’t move. We procrastinate, tell ourselves big dreams, but take no steps — because deep down, we’re afraid we’ll fail.

Both traps lead to the same place: stuck.

Movement vs. Action (aha moment)

This brings us to an important distinction: action versus movement.

Action is external — visible busyness. Sending resumes. Posting online.
But without the right headspace, it’s like running on a treadmill. You sweat, but you’re still in the same place.

Movement is different. It starts inside. Often invisible at first. It might be journaling. Taking a walk in nature. Processing what really happened.

That internal shift moves you forward far more than 100 frantic actions. Because once your headspace shifts, your actions carry real power.

So don’t confuse action with progress. What you want is movement.

Clarity as the other variable

Headspace is one piece. The other is clarity.

And in your 40s, clarity is complicated.

•  Do I double down and chase the next peak? Or cruise a little?
•  Do I stay in this industry or shift?
•  How do I balance family, kids, and parents?
•  Do I want more purpose in my work?

Even if you just want another job, roles are changing fast. AI is rewriting industries. Competition is fierce. No wonder it’s confusing to figure out what we actually want.

Years ago, I ran a non-profit mentorship program helping people get jobs. We helped with resumes, interviews, confidence. That part — readiness — was relatively easy.

But what I learned was this: the hardest part wasn’t readiness. The hardest part was clarity.
Many weren’t sure what job they wanted. So they worked in multiple directions, spread their energy thin, and didn’t lean fully into any path.

That’s why clarity matters. Without it, even the best preparation doesn’t take you far.

And clarity doesn’t come from overthinking. It comes by experimenting — trying small things, testing doors, seeing what lights you up.

So when we’re in the toughest period of our lives — a layoff — we can’t control the external. But we can prepare internally: by building positive headspace and high clarity.

That’s why I designed the Headspace–Clarity Matrix. A simple two-by-two to help you see where you are — and the right movement in that space.

The Headspace–Clarity Matrix

Picture a two-by-two.
 On one side: Headspace — negative or positive.
 On the other: Clarity — unclear or clear.

That gives us four boxes. And in each box, there’s one clear action:

1. Restore (Low Headspace, Low Clarity).
 This is where many land right after a layoff. Overwhelmed and lost.
 Here, don’t pressure yourself to make big career decisions. Don’t rush into interviews. You don’t have access to your best thinking.
 Focus only on restoring headspace.
 That could mean a walk in nature, journaling, noting emotions, or even a simple online course to re-engage your mind.
 The goal: feel a little lighter.

2. Explore (Positive Headspace, Low Clarity).
 Once you’re steadier but still don’t know what you want, it’s time to explore.
 You’ve got more mental energy, but you don’t want to look confused in front of important people.
 So brainstorm. Experiment. Talk to trusted friends. Maybe write an article.
 This is the time for strategic networking where you mostly listen. Exploration is what brings clarity.

3. Prepare (Low Headspace, High Clarity).
 Sometimes you know what you want, but your headspace is shaky — maybe after a rejection.
 That’s not the time for big networking. Instead, prepare in the background: update your resume, rehearse interviews, draft careful emails.
 Use this phase to build strength quietly until your headspace steadies.

4. Execute (Positive Headspace, High Clarity).
 This is the sweet spot. Calm inside, clear on direction.
 This is when you go all out: important interviews, tough conversations, confident outreach, key decisions.
 This is when you show up at your best.

The Big Insight
The key is this: every quadrant has a right action.

So wherever you are — Restore, Explore, Prepare, Execute — there’s always a way to move forward.

The goal isn’t to force yourself into the perfect state. It’s to recognize where you are today, and take the right next step.

Restore. Explore. Prepare. Execute.
Four simple steps to keep you moving forward.

And yes, we all jump between quadrants. That’s normal. Sometimes we don’t have a choice — a big interview is coming, so we need quick ways to lift our headspace. There are tools for that, and I’ll cover them in a future episode.

Thrive Through Transition (soft plug)
 By the way, if this resonates, you might be interested in a program I run called Thrive Through Transition. It’s a 4-week journey for people navigating layoffs, restructuring, or career shifts.

In our first pilot, the results were encouraging.

• One participant incorporated their own company during the program.
• Another landed a fractional leadership role.
• Many described moving from feeling overwhelmed and stuck to clear on their next steps — with tools they still use daily.

In fact, 100% of participants rated it 5 out of 5 and said they’d recommend it to others in transition.

If you’d like to learn more, check it out at sharadlal.net/thrivethroughtransition.

Closing 
 So if you’ve just been laid off, remember: it’s normal to feel fogged up. It’s normal to swing between fear, anger, shame, and confusion. You’re not alone in this.

But you don’t need to have all the answers today. What you need is movement — not just action.

Restore your headspace when you’re down.
Explore when you’re curious.
Prepare when you’re clear but shaky.
And when both headspace and clarity align — execute with confidence.

Step by step, quadrant by quadrant, you’ll find your way forward.

Uncertainty is hard, especially in midlife. But it’s also the doorway to reinvention. And if you keep moving, you’ll come out not just with another job — but with a stronger, clearer, more resilient version of yourself.

Outro
Thank you for tuning in to Episode 101 of How to Live. If this helped you, please share it with someone navigating a transition right now.

As always, wishing you calm, clarity, and movement. See you next time.